A contest 2: a voting

All told there were ten [twelve now] entries.  There should have been more, but someone (named dave zacuto) didn't enter in time.

The entries are:

1. An untitled effort from green gabbro (actually written by googletalk)
2. Und Zeit by ogged
3. Time and Measurement Through History by a Michael
4. An untitled effort by Thane Plambeck
5. Essay this! by Anti-Anti Kamala
6. Technology for the Modern Era by Bitch PhD
7. An untitled effort by Adam Kotsko
8. Yet another untitled essay by Anne
9. No title here either by sundre
10. This, too, lacks a title by the mysterious c. Note that this starts with a non-approved sentence.  Bitch PhD suggests that this might merit extra credit, as an imitation of a student not following directions.
11. A new entry!  Here,by Dave.
12. Here is another tardy entry, by jenniebee.  She will be docked a full grade.

Vote in the comments.  I was going to use one of those blogpoll-type polls for voting, but it fux0red up the style of the page something fierce.  It's true that this way will require manual counting by me, but that will just make it easier to ensure that the one I want to win does.

Comments

[dave zacuto]

Damn!

[Iron Lungfish]

I vote c.

[Rahel]

I vote for Adam Kotsko. It's the numbering that did it for me.

[Anne]

Although I amuse myself greatly by creating an entry focused on literature rather than time, I think Adam's entry kicks butt.

[Sam]

I vote for Anne's essay.

[yami]

I vote for Und Zeit, 'cause I've actually done the "fill your word count with poetry" bit...

[des von bladet]

I vote for yami (green gabbro).

[ben wolfson]

des von bladet, I am in love with you. Run off with me to Abroad and teach me to write like you.

[bitchphd]

Obviously I vote for ME.

[bitchphd]

Ben, you missed an entry: http://blogs.confusticate.com/jenniebee/archives/002567.html

I know that it's late. And she left the trackback at my place instead of yours. But isn't it just like a student to NOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS?

Throw it up there, c'mon.

[ben wolfson]

Note that Michael's entry cheekily included a mention of using clocks to determine latitude and longitude. I'm splitting my vote between his and the mysterious Anti-Anti Kamala's entries.

[JM]

Kotsko's numbering does put him over the top...but jennibee's is also really terrible.

[ben wolfson]

Far be it from me to seek to influence the voting process in any way, but there are two ways to look at the numbering:

• The pretentious way—Kotsko is saying, like Hegel and Sellars, my thought is so important that people will want a convenient way to refer to particular paragraphs, so I am thoughtfully providing my future exegetes with a numbering system."
• The lack of parallelism way, in which Kotsko's essay displays an organizational strategy uncharacteristic of the bad student essay he's supposed to be writing.

Most people seem to be ignoring the second possibility in citing the numbers as a good thing.

[ogged]

I vote for anti-K-K, mainly on the strength of his/her inspired third paragraph.

[jenniebee]

Yes, I'm sorry, it's late. I just read about it on Bitch this am, which I know is no excuse, as I should have been attending class regularly, but whatcanyoudo?

[LDH]

I vote yami (green gabbro)...

[bitchphd]

Yes, I think that Kotsko's essay is WAY too organized for bad student writing. Although the numbering is not uncharacteristic of students who don't even understand what an essay is supposed to look like, and instead think they are supposed to be making a bulleted list.

[Michael]

I just sent my entry in. (on time, ironically) I doubt my entry mirrors anyone else's, but just in case, I hearby disclaim I have not yet read any other entries.

[Adam Kotsko]

I vote for myself.

Apologia for the numbering: I was trying to write as someone who had completely internalized the five-paragraph essay format and could write nothing else. Actually, I probably should have just left out the numbering, so this is no longer an apologia.

Honorable mention to Anti-Anti-Kamala for "the meaning of pie."

[ben wolfson]

Do you have any response to the charge of sexism, Adam?

[c]

How was I expected to see the words "either sentence two or four" when there were so many other words to look at and many of them were much more interesting words than "either sentence two or four." This is unfair I worked hard and you are just mean.

I vote Thane his essay really made me think.

[JL]

My vote's for Anne: sheer literary brilliance.

[Kathleen]

I vote for 3.

[bitchphd]

Can I change my vote to C? On the grounds that not only the essay, but C's entire self presentation, so perfectly communicates "Bad Student" that I am beginning to feel very, very afraid?

[ben wolfson]

You can, bitch, you can.

[Frances]

I vote Und Zeit.

For the sole reason that I am a philosophy major.

c comes in second, for the brilliance of her portrayal of a bad student.

[ben wolfson]

You know, Frances, I think the following sentence, from Thane's entry, is very Heideggerian:

Most people, when they think of measuring time, think of boring church sermons, university lectures, and their in-laws.

It just doesn't wear it on its sleeve.

[eb]

I also vote for c, if only out of fear of receiving a bad evaluation at the end of the term.

[Thane Plambeck]

Damn all these late entries! I thought I had a chance to win this thing.

If no one votes for my essay, I think I should win. It's only *fair*. And no, I'm not voting for myself. I like dr. b's the best.

Is this vote thing counting toward my final grade?!??! If no one votes for me can I have an incomplete?

When is ben's course evaluation? I want to fill one out.

[Boudicca]

I vote for Anne.

[bitchphd]

Thane, in the grand academic tradition, I'm going to say, "course evaluation for Ben! Great idea! Glad you suggested it! Why don't you write one up and we'll all fill it out?"

I am quickly learning that in academe, the best strategy is never to say *anything* needs changing, lest you get tapped to do it.

[amoebic]

yeah well you see, i couldn't get mine in cuz of a bereavement over a very close family pet, who had eaten the said piece the very morning. I mean, well, the vet didn't say per se that it was my essay that stopped flossy's heart, but maybe it could have been, and so obviously its all been very traumatic... which is why mine's late.
I vote for und Zeit!

[Walter Sobchak]

Unfortunately, I have to swallow my bile and vote for Kotsko... if only for the reference to the "glug" as a hypothetical unit of measurement. That is just too perfect.

[Sundre]

Though tempted to vote for myself, I have to throw my support behind jenniebee. Late, but inspired.
Und Zeit and Bitch PhD tie at a close second, but I don't think you're counting those.

[grandma blue]

I vote for Anne also. These are all wonderful, and so funny, but Anne's made me laugh the hardest (times).

[Luolin]

Can lurkers vote?
If so, I vote for Dave. Anne made me laugh, and Bitch's was inspired, but Dave's leap from sundial to Casio was just too close to what my students do.
Luolin
ps. lack of parallelism in my sentence above is also reminiscent of my students.

[ben wolfson]

We're all lurkers here, man.

[jenniebee]

It's so hard to choose....

But I have to give it to Amoebic. I was going to say Anne, but hers is just too intelligent. And amoebic isn't on the approved list, which is good.

[washerdreyer]

Despite voting being closed, I was going to vote for anti-anti-Kamala. But I really like the phrase, "a vexed question," even if it was misused in the essay.

Michael would have gotten my vote, but he failed to misquote Ecclesiastes with Byrds lyrics.

As such, I vote for Kotsko.

[ben wolfson]

I choose to interpret washerdreyer's vote for Kotsko, above, as a vote for Anti-Anti-Kamala, since it was s/he, not Kotsko, that used the phrase "a vexed question".

[ben wolfson]

Also I'm changing my vote to be for Dave's.

[sr]

I vote for Dave's essay. The Chinese history was hilarious.

[washerdreyer]

That's a misinterpretation. When I say I like the phrase, I mean it made the essay better. Since being objectively better makes it worse for the purposes of this contest, he lost my vote.

[No Chaser]

Off-topic is my favorite kind of "F" paper. Anne!!!
Ogged gets a close second.

[ben wolfson]

Nevertheless, wd, it's my interpretation, and I'm counting the votes.

[dave zacuto]

Thanks, Ben.

sr- Some of that Chinese history isn't made up, incidently.