This common idiom has an odd feature! Core dumped.

Hey, check it out: "take a long walk off a short pier": why is the walk long and the pier short?  Because the idea is that the walk will be a straight one, and will exceed in length the length of the pier, so the foolish ambulator will fall into the water!  But isn't all the work here really being done by that least appreciated of speech elements, the preposition?  Consider: "take a long walk on a short pier".  Here, our hypothetical walking person could simply walk back and forth on the short pier several times, without once being in danger of falling into the sea, lake, or what body of water have you.  Even "take a short walk off a long pier" would work, if the goal is to get the instructed party wet (provided that either a pier is within walking distance, or h/s has transportation to the pier, and that either length of a long walk is greater than the length of a long pier, or someone takes h/h part of the way down the pier).

So why not just say "walk off a pier"? The really crazy thing is that if you started at the beginning of a short pier, you couldn't take a long walk off of it—precisely because you'd be walking off of it, onto water.  You can't do it!  This instruction specifically sets impossible conditions for its own satisfaction.  What could possibly be the point of phrasing it this way?

I hope that this will have been but the first of a series of posts in which I analyze the foolish inefficiencies of your English.

Comments

[Michael]

either length of a long walk is greater than the length of a long pier

"short" walk, I should think you mean.

So why not just say "walk off a pier"?

Because it loses the humor, obvs. The point of this is that it implies that the receipient of the zany zing is a fool who will not immediately realize that the planned long walk will be cut short due to the length of the pier.

[dave zacuto]

or h/s has

I think I've spotted the real purpose of this monologue.

[tammy]

The really crazy thing is that if you started at the beginning of a short pier, you couldn't take a long walk off of it—precisely because you'd be walking off of it, onto water. You can't do it!

Clearly, you've never seen a cartoon in your life. The walk can be MUCH longer than the pier!

[ogged]

Wolfson 1, English 0.

[ben wolfson]

"short" walk, I should think you mean.

No, long walk. If you're telling someone to take a short walk off a long pier, then the short walk has to exceed the length of the pier. So if it's going to be a short walk, the length of a long walk must exceed that of a long pier.

[Matt Weiner]

Run-DMC clearly perceived this problem, as they proposed a prepositionless repurposing: "Why don't you find a short pier/ and take a long walk."

[Matt Weiner]

Oddly, I was not aiming for out-of-control alliteration.

Having typed too quickly, I am now being asked to enter the number that I see in the image below. But I see no number! I see a string of characters. Tricksy Turing tests.

[rone]

It's misdirection, of course. "Go walk off a pier!" "Hey, i'm not stupid!" "Fine, go take a long walk off a short pier!" "I just might do that!"

[text]

from now on, I'll always say, "walk off a pier!"

Also, "why don't you leaf! Like a tree would do!"

And, "See that you do not talk to me further! As though you were the letter C!"

And "Your mother is overweight, and that reflects poorly upon yourself!"

[ben wolfson]

Should just be "and that reflects poorly on you".

[Standpipe Bridgeplate]

Take a long peer at a short wok.

[joe o]

up your nose with an inappropriately large diametered rubber hose of conventional stiffness.

[Matt Weiner]

Ben, why must you be such a little person who corrects others' grammar?

[eb]

I can't believe I messed up on that first trackback.

[Sammy]

What is The Origin of "Take a long walk off a short pier"?

[Sammy]

What is The Origin of "Take a long walk off a short pier"?

[TRUTH]

you're an idiot

[Idioms.in]

Hello dear,
I want to know the origin of the idiom "penny for your thoughts", please suggest.