Jonah Goldberg in villanelle form

Relocated from a comment thread at unfogged because I'm vain like that. Background here, here, and here (oh, and here for a different bit), with many more embarrassing excerpts from the book that I hadn't yet seen also available at Sadly, No (eg).

These liberals are all fascists through and through.
Organic food, health care, the smoking ban?
What they don't tell you is that Hitler did it too.

They'll barricade the church and overturn each pew,
Atheistic unbelievers to a man.
These liberals are all fascists through and through.

They'll teach your kids what Darwin said is true:
But unnatural selection's their real plan.
What they don't tell you is that Hitler did it too.

They'll cant sensitivity to those with another view,
And turn around and then oppress the Klan.
These liberals are all fascists through and through.

They'll say animals are with human rights imbued,
And try to keep your steak from out your pan.
What they don't tell you is that Hitler did it too.

It's time we gave these little Eichmanns what is due,
Then maybe go to war, just to prove we can.
These liberals are all fascists through and through.
What they don't tell you is that Hitler did it too.

Comments

[rone]

Oh, bravo, sir.

[ben wolfson]

One has a lot of time to divert oneself when stuck in traffic in LA. True fact: I believe the below contains nearly every word rhyming with "Verbot" I could think of (the only exceptions that come to mind at the moment are other words formed from "bieten"). This accounts for that crap about bread.

Liberalen sind bloss Faschisten, zum letzen Mann.
Gesundes Essen, Sozialversicherung, das Rauchverbot?
Vor siebzig Jahren hat das Hitler auch getan.

Der Liberaler schließt die Kirche, sobald er kann,
Und als Erklärung sagt er nur, Gott sei tot.
Liberalen sind bloss Faschisten, zum letzen Mann.

"Es gibt kein Schaffen nach dem Gottes Plan;
verbessert wird die Art durch Streit und Not."
Vor siebzig Jahren hat das Hitler auch getan.

Sie brechen mit allem, ausser dem Klan—
das heisst, mit den "Vernünftigen"—ihr Brot.
Liberalen sind bloss Faschisten, zum letzten Mann.

"Das kleinste Hühnchen hat mehr Rechte als ein Mann,
und ist zu retten, bevor es der Messer droht."
Vor siebzig Jahren hat das Hitler auch getan.

Schicken wir den Liberaler zurück, woher er kam,
und dann zum Krieg!—denn das Blut ist uns noch rot.
Liberalen sind bloss Faschisten, zum letzten Mann.
Vor siebzig Jahren hat das Hitler auch getan.