Being moved by various considerations to view this month's LRB personals section (and how odd that their classifieds includes a "blogs" section), and being disappointed with its selection, I located a big honkin' list of them. Very satisfying. But wait, isn't there a sort of tired trope that pops up in a surprising number of them?
I wrote this ad to prove I’m not gay. Man, 29. Not gay. Absolutely not. Box no. 2205
They don’t call me naughty Lola. They call me Brian. Brian, 57. Box no. 23/07 [A reference to the book, They Call Me Naughty Lola]
‘Scarface’, ‘Mad Dog’, ‘Pretty Boy’, ‘Baby Face’ – if I had an underworld crime nickname it would be ‘Screwed by Ex-Wife’s Solicitor and Currently Sleeping in a Caravan’. Man, 42. Screwed by ex-wife’s solicitor and currently sleeping in a caravan. Box no. 14/06
I’d like to dedicate this advert to my mother (difficult cow, 65) who is responsible for me still being single at 36. Man. 36. Single. Held at home by years of subtle emotional abuse and at least 19 fake heart-attacks. Box no. 09/08
If I were a type of shrub I’d be euonymus. Go figure. Euonymus-esque woman (37) Box no. 18/11
There are other, less obvious instances of this trope, too, as with the bad whistler and the man incapable of making any point whatsoever.
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