Verse roundup!!!!

Limericks/double dactyls/etc composed but not previously made public (outside of facebook):

1. If there's one thing that's good, and sans phrase,
   It's a will that submits to the laws:
   Not desire and friends,
   But the Kingdom of Ends!
   (See part 3 for some stuff about "cause".)
   
   
2. I admit first of all that I'm sick.
   And I'm spiteful as well---a real prick.
   I'd run into a wall
   To show once and for all
   You can't reckon me as clocks tick.
   
   (you are requested to take the metrical hash of the last line as thematic.)
3. Once as I slowly the
   Streets of Laredo was
   Ambling in outfit of
   Cowboy along,
   
   Cerements spotted I
   Wrapping a cowboy who
   Testamentarily
   Sang me this song.
   
   (Spot me "cerements".)

4. Connolly and Pearse
   Are wearing green
   A terrible birth
   Of beauty's seen
   Easter Shave
   
   
5. I'd put it from a candle
   About a foot away,
   And nosh on Brot und Mandel
   And watch the face decay.
   
   The plea "Oh help me sir!"
   From Cumber then would come,
   "Before my eyes I see a blur;
   I fear my race is run!"
   
   But I would sit back in my chair
   And watch his features melt;
   "This fate will come to foul and fair:
   Now play the hand you're dealt."
6. (The first quatrain here was supplied by the artistic director of Golosa after I pronounced myself incapable of finding a beginning for the second quatrain)
   
   Wordily, wordily,
   Wolfson outdoes himself,
   though for a subject he
   doesn't stray far:
   
   People who order a
   Triple genever make
   Juniperemptory
   Claims on the bar.<
7. (My contribution to a series of limericks composed, at my request, on the rhymes of "unshriven" and "unswiven"):
   
   The bereaved thus by guilt so beriven
   Prayed daily that he'd be forgiven:
   Ivan clove to his wife
   For all of her life
   But she died with her cleft yet uncliven.
   
   
8. There was once a roaming antelope
   Who returned to his wife, hight Penelope,
   And their home in a comb
   Where she wove at her loom
   The plot to the opera Partenope.
   
   
9. Abbreviated verse (the topic suggested by the unfolding of a conversation):
   
   Elizabeth Taylor was really hoopy, i.e.,
   Like Ford Prefect and his towel she'd always know where her hat is,
   And would certainly have underplayed some parts, e.g.
   Phyllis Dietrichson or Dorothy of "Oz" make a good sample,
   She'd've played them psychologically incorrectly, viz.,
   Altogether meek and mild; in a word, tamely.
   
   
10. That stylish young poet, John Keats,
    Was shocked when he first met Bill Yeats,
    For the latter was clad
    Like a suburban dad
    In tennies and t-shirt and sweats.
    
    
11. Jiggery-pokery
    Hapax legomena,
    Terms that appear only
    Once in a text,
    
    Often because of their
    Semelfactivity
    Mean lexicographers
    Must remain vexed.
12. Squiggily wiggily
    Ink-shooting creatures, if
    Wounded or sick or if
    Caught in a snare,
    
    Give themselves up to the
    Eightfold attentions of
    Octopodiatrist
    Medical care.
    
13. Ookily spookily
    summoning rituals
    ought to be over be-
    fore the first light:
    
    If there's no suitable
    antecrepuscular
    shadow surrounding, the
    demons don't bite.
    
14. Jiggery Pokery
    Friedrich von Schlegel schrieb
    Bücher ironisch, ro-
    mantisch, und dreist:
    
    Ein gar willkürlicher,
    dazu gebildeter,
    symphilosophischer,
    bildender Geist.